Say It Like You Mean It, But Maybe Mean It Less Like an Asshole

Words matter. Delivery matters more.

Look, I’ve personally heard it all over my many decades on earth:
“You’re too much.”
“Too loud.”
“Too opinionated.”
And the all-time classic: “You took that the wrong way.”

Let’s clear this up for the people in the back: intent does not matter more than impact. That’s like saying you didn’t mean to spill red wine on a white couch, so the stain shouldn’t exist. Spoiler: it does, and it’s permanent.

We’ve been telling people this for years - family, coworkers, bosses, partners, friends: If the outcome sucks, then your approach wasn’t as good as you thought it was.

And honestly? I’ve been telling my boys this line forever, not because they’re the worst offenders, but because they’re a captive audience. Turns out it applies to just about everyone.

And let’s be real - I’m guilty too. I repeat myself (okay, a lot), I momsplain (personal fave), I belabor points like it’s my cardio, and sometimes I just plain bulldoze because I know I’m right.

Delivery isn’t just their problem - it’s ours too. The difference is, each of us can own it and work on it!

We all know good intentions can get lost in translation; if words land sharp, messy, or laced with condescension, the impact misses the mark.

And now? Now that many of us (aka me) are in wave three of menopause (yes, THREE - we deserve a ribbon or at least a margarita), words hit harder.

Things we used to let slide? Not anymore.

None of us has the energy to play “Guess That Intent” while juggling hot flashes, workplace drama, family chaos, and a bladder with a mind of its own.

It’s time we all stop excusing poor delivery and calling it honesty.

Don’t tell us we’re “too sensitive” when we react; maybe the words were too careless. You don’t get to drop a word grenade and then act surprised when it explodes.

That “I didn’t mean it like that” line? It’s ready for retirement.

Because once words are out there, they stick - and the only way forward is to own them, clean it up, and do better next time. What we don’t have anymore is patience for backpedaling!

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So yeah, maybe we’re a little tougher to navigate these days. Maybe we come with a few more landmines. But they’re hard-won, and they matter.

If you care about us? Pause. Choose your words wisely. Speak like it counts.

Words have always mattered, and now more than ever, we’re paying attention.

And showing up with care means holding ourselves to the same standard. Less bulldozing, less momsplaining, less “I didn’t mean it like that.” We all get sloppy sometimes. The only thing we can control is whether we own it, clean it up, and do better next time.

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Got a word you wish you could un-hear? Or one that changed everything?

Drop it in the comments or send it to me at realgirlsguide55@gmail.com.

Let’s talk about the ones that healed, the ones that hurt, and the ones we’re reclaiming.

Because this Real Girl? She’s done making herself smaller so other people can feel more comfortable.

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We’ve earned every wrinkle. Might as well make more laugh lines together.
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