Supplements, Panic Buys, & the Wellness Circus: A Real Girl Q&A

Midlife myths, cracked open. Real talk, no woo.

Aug 19, 2025

We’re diving into the mind-numbing, wallet-emptying, semi-hilarious world of midlife health. Vitamins. Hormones. Protein powders. Collagen packets. Pellets. Patches. Stuff we swallow, inject, blend, or forget entirely. Because if one more person tells us to “just take magnesium,” we might actually lose it.

So instead of me screaming into the void, I called in backup. A Real Girl who’s been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. Call it the wellness cheat sheet your best friend would slide across the table: straight talk, no BS, side-eye included!

Rapid-Fire Introductions

Name + age (if you’re cool sharing it):

Let’s keep it mysterious - 52.

What's your current vibe? (Examples: holding it together with protein shakes + rage, thriving on testosterone gel, running on aura + perimenopause sweat)

I’m biohacking my way to inner peace with a drawer full of anti-aging promises, and just enough magnesium to mask the existential dread.

Midlife status check: Kids? Relationships? Job? Pets that judge you?

Three kids, two officially adults, one still in training. They’re my heart, my motivation, and proof that sarcasm is genetic. Married 20 + years to the same man who’s now a committed dog dad and paddle player with chronic tennis elbow and zero knowledge about self-care routines and collagen powder. Career-wise, I’ve cracked a few ceilings, ruffled some egos, and collected more than my fair share of war stories.

**Supplements, Shady Claims & Sh*t We Keep Buying**

1. Let’s start with the chaos: What’s your current “stack”? (Vitamins, powders, weird mushroom capsules, mystery gummies, lay it out.)

I consume copious amounts of protein. I fill multiple pill organizers every Sunday like I’m prepping for a pharmaceutical decathlon. Turmeric, ginkgo, glucosamine for the joints that now speak louder than my barking dog, collagen capsules, omega-3s, vitamin D (because apparently the sun is no longer enough!), B12 for energy, probiotics for the gut, and magnesium for the delusion of sleep. Also in the mix that gets shuffled in and out of my regime: lion’s mane for brain fog, CoQ10 for heart health, and calcium because bone density is suddenly trending on TikTok. And of course I can’t forget electrolyte packets, greens powder, and a questionable mushroom blend that promised “cellular rejuvenation” and vibes. Honestly, at this point, I could run a wellness shop out of my bathroom drawer.

2. Be honest: how many of these are just vibes and peer pressure?

It’s TikTok and Instagram pressure. Full stop.

3. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve tried that did nothing? (Name names, girl.)

I did a 60 day guided cleanse that bled my bank account dry, lost 2 lbs of water weight and I was starving the entire time! My quarterly Circadia C Peptide Facial that costs about $220 each time is also starting to add up!

4. Have you ever taken something and actually noticed a difference?

I’m not sure what, if anything, is working. I do think it’s a combo of a few things that put a dent in it. La Mer and a quarterly anti-aging facial are top of the list because clearly my skin deserves better financial planning than I do. Yes, it's absurdly expensive, but so is regret, and regret has yet to smooth out a single fine line. Honestly? It’s a full-time job: face yoga, that jade roller we all own and occasionally use, and enough retinol to qualify as a controlled substance. But in combo the above seem to be helping a bit but I’m afraid to drop one as it might be the only one actually holding it all up.

5. What’s one supplement or product you swear by, even if science says it’s questionable?

Turmeric. It works better than caffeine under my eyes or anything else to remove puffiness and it’s cheap.

Hormones, Hot Flashes & WTF Moments

6. Are you doing anything hormone-related? (HRT, pellets, patches, creams, hoping for a miracle?)

Yes! I’m on HRT and my AC is on at all times. I could not survive without either of them.

7. What was your “oh sh*t, this is menopause” moment?

Hot flashes that came out of nowhere and crushed me. And after getting them, I realized for years all of my complaints to doctors were perimenopause. Ok. Not all but a lot of them! All were dismissed and the dots never connected. From itchy gums during my period to sleep problems. The hot flashes were the “obvious” sign and the one that knocked me on my ass.

8. Have you ever gotten wellness advice that made you want to punch someone? (Ex: "Just try yoga." 😑)

Yes. Tons. The advice that drives me nuts? The “super expensive, dermatologist-only, book six months in advance” kind of nonsense. I don’t have time or the patience. Give me a cream, a powder or a pill and leave me alone.

9. What do you wish someone had told you about hormones in midlife?

That the signs will be everywhere. If you want to burn down the house because you can’t find the good scissors, you may be in perimenopause.

Protein, Poop, and Panic Buys

10. Let’s talk protein: Are you tracking it? Drinking it? Choking it down in sad shakes?

All of the above. I feel like I’m exhausted because I’m perpetually on the Atkins Protein diet all the time.

11. Have you had a wellness panic buy moment? (Ex: $150 collagen peptides, infrared sauna blanket, lymphatic drainage wand?)

Almost weekly. Red light mask? Got one. Collagen power ✔️ TikTok prays upon my insecurity and the algorithm is beating me up emotionally and financially.

12. How many items in your kitchen right now claim to “detox” something?

All but my wine fridge.

13. What midlife wellness trend do you think is total BS or which one secretly slaps?

The mushrooms did nothing for me. But for some? Pure magic. Mood, focus, energy, boom. Not everything hits for everyone. Try the weird thing, ditch what flops, and if it works? Shout it loud. We need more shared wins in midlife.

Real Talk

14. What’s the most confusing part of all this? (Too many choices? Conflicting advice? The fact that no doctor seems to know wtf is going on?)

No joined up thinking. It’s 90% choose your own adventure.

15. Do you feel like women get actual support in midlife or just targeted ads and overpriced powders?

No. We’re all winging it. I do think now that it’s happening to Gen X the world should buckle up. We aren’t going down without a fight.

16. What do you want younger women to know before they get here?

Don’t judge. You’ll be here, too. You have no idea how gorgeous you are. Today is the youngest you’ll ever be again. Love the skin you’re in.

17. What would you cut out completely if you could?

Judgy people.

18. What helps the most when you’re feeling overwhelmed by it all?

Being alone and binge watching something girly. For all the design flaws in menopause, being a girl beats the alternative;)

Wrap-Up

19. If you had to give one piece of wellness advice to another Real Girl, what would it be?

Try your best to love the skin you’re in. Moisturize it like it owes you money. But also try to accept that aging is a gift, just one that sometimes arrives in saggy wrapping paper.

20. Complete this sentence: “Wellness in midlife is a necessary evil____________.”

Wellness in midlife is a necessary evil… like fiber, pelvic floor exercises, and pretending your $92 face cream definitely works after one use.

BONUS IF YOU DARE:

21. Take a pic of your supplement graveyard drawer. We might start a collage:

22. Show us the weirdest thing in your wellness lineup. (Patch? Dropper? Sea moss? Ritual bath crystals?):

I’d say my infrared wand by Solawave. And I only think it’s weird because I wouldn’t want to “wand in public” - I do think it works but I think I need consistency and I’m hardly consistent.

No expert panel, no glossy ads - just us, figuring it out together. Tell us what you’re trying, what flopped, and what surprised you. Your real might be exactly what another Real Girl needs. Drop it in the comments… or, if you’re shy, email us at realgirlsguide55@gmail.com

We’ve earned every wrinkle. Might as well make more laugh lines together.
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